I won’t sugarcoat it: anxiety is ugly. Not only does it make me feel a thousand emotions at a time, but it also triggers my depression big time. As a creative who writes for a living, I discovered there’s an upside to all this.
Well, I can’t really call it an upside, for that matter, because that sounds like romanticizing the illness. But one of the things I’ve learned from years of battling anxiety is when you can’t fight the current, you gotta go with the flow.
I have long embraced this condition and learned to live with the pain, so whenever the monsters come knocking on my door, I greet them with a deep sigh while mentally preparing my weapons. Simply stated, I have learned to anticipate what’s ahead by not wallowing too much on those horrible thoughts, which used to lead to suicidal thoughts. While it’s not guaranteed to work 100% of the time, the process makes the struggle much more bearable.
So, how does it help keep the creative juices flowing?
Like I said, when you have anxiety, you imagine a thousand possibilities, which, no matter how terrible some ideas appear to be, is a creative pursuit in itself. But that’s just one piece of the puzzle.
Recently, I stumbled upon two articles about how boredom is equal to creativity and how being busy kills our ability to think creatively. The articles have basically one message: to put your smartphone down and start paying attention to the world.
Apparently, articles like these make me stop and contemplate: how am I doing?
As much as possible, I try to have a work-life balance by going out with my boyfriend, friends, and family when I’m not doing my nine-to-five job or side gigs or squeezing in my interests that are essential for my alone time, like reading books and seeing movies.
With so much on one’s plate, you can only imagine how I can still make time for my blog. As I explained in my previous post, I don’t find the time to blog; I wait for the ideas to come out of me naturally.
But when you have anxiety, your brain has no switch. I take advantage of this condition by writing the ideas and thoughts that pop into my head on my smartphone. This happens when I’m taking a cigarette break, killing time during traffic jams, waiting for sleep to come, or basically during all my idle moments. As of writing, I have 79 unfinished drafts here on WordPress.
Unless you are an author who writes books to earn a living, I guess you can still live a full life and keep the creative juices flowing. In this case, my anxiety is doing me a huge favor by keeping me in a constant state of overthinking, which then allows me to gather ideas and turn them into blog posts.