There Are 4 Types of Introverts: Which One Are You? (Published on Introvert Diaries)

Just when you thought that the term introvert is specific enough to describe people who prefer to be alone (a.k.a. us), here comes a work-in-progress research study that shows that no two introverts are alike. In fact, there are four types of introverts according to Jonathan Cheek, a psychology professor at Wellesley College.

The STAR Classification

Cheek and his graduate students Jennifer Grimes and Courtney Brown asked 500 adults of ages ranging from 18 – 70 about their personalities. According to them, while each introvert has a dominant trait, a person can also be a blend of two types.

Social Introvert

A social introvert is the exact opposite of our standard definition of a social person. People who belong to this type loves solitude but are not necessarily shy. Social introverts can still handle social interactions but they prefer to be with their close group of friends.

Because of these people’s insatiable craving for aloneness, their hobbies are far from the likes of partying on Friday nights. Instead, they choose low-key activities like snuggling up in their own room with a good book and warm coffee or tea.

Thinking Introvert

Picture Luna Love good and her signature moves in the Harry Potter movies. If you saw an introvert who is always lost in her own thoughts and is often daydreaming while all her friends are either busy or having the time of their lives, you got the exact definition of a thinking introvert.

These people’s brain has no switch and they are mostly introspective, self-reflective, and thoughtful. A thinking introvert’s hobbies may include journaling, creative writing, painting, and other artistic endeavors.

Anxious Introvert

While solitude is a preference for social introverts, anxious introverts prefer to be alone for a number of reasons. One of these is that they are not very confident about their social skills. These people often stutter when they talk and public speaking may be one of their worst fears.

Anxious introverts are more prone to wallow in self-pity and depressing thoughts because they often wonder where things could go or have gone possibly wrong. They are the overthinkers who stay awake late at night.

Restrained Introvert

Did you flinch when you watched Dead Poets Society and heard the words “Carpe Diem?” Do you always lack the energy to do thrilling things, or worse, accomplish day-to-day tasks? Are you always late to school or work? Is Friday your favorite F-word because you want to just stay in your room all weekend and spend your time alone? You might be a restrained introvert.

These people tend to move at a slightly slower pace because they lack the energy and motivation to do so. Also, they prefer to think hard and weigh in the options first, so it might take a while before they act or speak.

Ten years ago, there was a stigma in the society about introversion and people with introverted personalities. People mistook us for being shy, unintelligent, or weak and even called us names such as nerd, geek, and weird.

Thanks to Cheek, his colleagues, and a bunch of other people who make every effort to study the personalities of human beings, the society is slowly beginning to accept us for who we are and understand why most of us love to get lost in our own little worlds.

This was originally published on Introvert Diaries

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13 Real-Life Struggles Only Introverts Will Understand (Published on Introvert Diaries)

Let’s admit it: most people still do not get that introverts are normal human beings who enjoy the company of small groups. Truth is, we just need to recharge our introvert batteries often through alone time. But don’t let the fact that people think we are weird bother you–you are not alone and the force is with you. We have compiled 13 real-life struggles that we all experience every once in a while:

1. People think you’re boring.

Little did they know, you can be the most talkative person in the room when discussing your passion.

 

2. Putting on headphones to avoid conversations.

If the headphones do not translate as a “Do Not Talk to Me” sign for other people, I don’t know what will.

introvert-struggles

3. What do you mean, small talk?

Talk about your fears, your dreams, your favorite author, your childhood memories–anything but the traffic and weather. We introverts prefer deep conversations and get bored easily when someone talks about super random stuff.

introvert-struggles

4. The words “team building” aren’t in your dictionary.

The mere thought of forcing ourselves to socialize with others makes us cringe. But unlike parties organized by friends, attendance on team buildings are required by most companies so it’s hard to find a way out.

introvert-struggles

5. Parties.

Are you kidding me? We’d rather stay in bed than pretend to be interested in other people’s stories.

introvert-struggles

6. Phone calls don’t exist.

For most introverts, texts and emails are a requirement because We. Hate. Phone. Calls. Imagine a job recruiter calling you impromptu and you can’t think of a brilliant thing to say when in reality, you imagined your job interview to be seamless. Now you lost your chance to work for them.

introvert-struggles

7. Round-table discussions make you sweaty.

Of course you have so many ideas in mind. Of course. You had it all figured out last night and you think your suggestion is better than the rest, but you flinch when it’s your turn because you can’t seem to find the courage to speak up.

8. That feeling you get when somebody interrupts your reading time.

Reading is one great way to recharge our battery and nothing infuriates us more than an annoying person who does not understand that the book is a virtual “Do Not Disturb” sign that means go away I’m reading and I don’t want to talk to you.

introvert-struggles

9. When the teacher calls random names for recitation.

Recitation is fun when you know the answer and you’ve rehearsed how to say it confidently but when the teacher calls your name randomly, that’s far from fun. We all have a tendency to panic when we’re asked to speak in front of so many people so we just uhm, oh, actually no, we stutter and grope for the right words to say.

10. Running for cover when you see an acquaintance on the street.

And when that acquaintance happens to be one of the most talkative persons on earth, you’re dead. So, you immediately run for cover, find a shield, or walk fast to avoid being identified by the culprit.

introvert-struggles

11. First days.

Can you imagine walking in an unfamiliar place full of strangers and having to introduce yourself to everyone? If you can’t, congratulations because you are a certified introvert! *virtual high-five*

12. When you need to recharge your introvert battery in the middle of a socialization.

Sometimes, we can’t help but feel the need to recharge when we are in the middle of a party of a social event. Large crowds bore us and the more time we spend alone, the happier we become.

introvert-struggles

13. Everyone asking you if you’re okay.

This one’s a classic real-life struggle of an introvert. The million-dollar question: Are you okay? The answer: Will everybody just shut up? (but of course you didn’t say this out loud because you don’t want to be rude so you just nod and smile). We feel you.

introvert-struggles

 

This was originally published on Introvert Diaries

8 Books That Perfectly Capture What It’s Like to Be an Introvert (Published on Introvert Diaries)

When not writing stories, introverts spend their time reenacting fictional tales and narratives inside their heads. As solitary dreamers, we all have a tendency to fantasize about things even when we’re in the company of other people.

After all, reading is one of our favorite escapes from reality and it also paves the way for a more energetic and recharged mind and body. We rounded up a list of books that perfectly capture what it’s like to have an introverted personality to spoil the daydreamer in you.

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
the-catcher-in-the-rye

Known for being the last book that David Chapman read before shooting John Lennon, The Catcher in the Rye is a coming-of-age novel that tells the narrative of a 16-year-old-boy named Holden Caulfield.

Although this novel had been accused of encouraging teenage rebellion, an introvert would relate to the story because Holden also likes to live inside his head. In fact, the entire book was narrated in first person point of view. It’s like Holden talked to himself all throughout the entire novel–one trait that we all can relate to.

One can argue that this fictional character is a misanthropist–all he ever does is hate people and the things they do. He is also fed up with the world that he would rather be alone. In the end, it seems that the only thing that can recharge this introvert’s battery is his love for his family.

Bridget Jones’ Diary by Helen Fielding

Bridget-Jone's-Diary

If you think you are a socially awkward person who always gropes for the right things to say, can’t confidently present her best self in front of other people, and keeps a diary to herself, you might be a Bridget Jones at heart. The Bridget Jones installation comes in two books and three movies. You can read or binge-watch them if you want to celebrate introversion in a light, fun way.

Persuasion by Jane Austen

Persuasion

Written by a spinster herself, Persuasion is about a woman in her late 20s whose introversion led her to become a spinster. Often overshadowed by her extroverted family members, Anne Elliot, the protagonist, is a reserved woman who had a hard time finding her other half because of her always-quiet nature. This book celebrates self-love and introversion at their finest.

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

fangirl

Like most introverts, Cath, the protagonist in this young adult novel, escapes the world by putting her emotions into writing. As a fanfiction writer of one of the most popular (fictional) series in the world (Simon Snow), Cath is well-known on the internet for making up stories about their favorite characters.

Unlike her twin Wren, Cath is an introvert inside and out–she doesn’t like socializing with other people and she’d rather lock herself up in her own room and write fanfiction. Her only social interaction happens in the online community. This book is a must-read for all fangirls out there who are proud introverts at heart.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

the-great-gatsby

In this book, we learn about Nick whose introverted, observant nature led us to Jay Gatsby. As the novel progresses, we learn that Gatsby only throws extravagant parties to be with Daisy, his ex-lover whom he plans to reunite with.

The story tells us about how someone like Nick can survive in social parties by merely being a wallflower and how someone like Gatsby will go above and beyond to be with the love of his life. Their pensive nature is what made them buddies.

Looking for Alaska by John Green

looking-for-alaska

For most introverts, life is about finding a deeper meaning. This book is highly recommended for introverts who “go to seek a Great Perhaps.”

When Miles Halter, a purely introverted junior high school student comes to  Culver Creek Preparatory High School in Alabama, he meets the self-destructing Alaska Young and his life is never the same. Miles begins to have fantasies about Alaska but he constantly keeps them to himself. When Alaska dies in an accident, Miles continues to look for answers about life.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Jane-Eyre-Charlotte-Bronte

I must say, Jane Eyre is the most fictional character for introverts. All that matters to her are her loved ones and passion. She cringes at the mere idea of social gatherings and would rather stay in the house with her friend Helen or Mr. Rochester.

Jane enjoys her alone time and paints when not working in the house.She also loves to get lost in the world of literature where she can be her best self, dream the wildest of dreams, and take on adventures that she would never attempt in real life.

Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

the-perks-of-being-a-wallflower

I bet every introvert who has read this book would agree with me when I say that this would not be a legit list if I didn’t include Perks of Being a Wallflower. If you haven’t read this yet, here’s a trigger warning: you won’t be able to put it down because you will highly relate to the protagonist.

Charlie is a quiet teenager who spends his freshman year reading books, going to school, and observing things. And most of the time, these observations make him want to seek answers to poignant questions about his existence, his transition from youth to adulthood, and life in general.

This was originally published on Introvert Diaries

10 Practical Jobs That Introverts Will Absolutely Love (Published on Introvert Diaries)

Ask as many introverts you know about what they love doing most and you will probably get the same answer: jobs that involve minimal social interaction. And because we process our thoughts differently than extroverted people, we prefer to work alone than in groups or teams.

Most of us don’t want to deal or get involved with office politics, so the best career for us is the type that allows us to recharge our introvert battery while doing our best work. If you are having a hard time choosing a career path, we have compiled a list of practical jobs for introverts that can help you get you started.

Social Media Manager

We know it sounds ironic, but social media management is one of the perfect jobs for introverts. Yes, you still need to deal with a lot of people for the most part, but there’s no face-to-face interaction in this type of job.

Here, your responses do not have to be real-time. If you don’t feel like answering an angry netizen at the moment, you can delay the conversation and get back at them when you’ve finally calmed yourself. Sound easy, right?

Online Support Representative

Like a social media manager, an online support representative does not have to worry about person-to-person interaction. This type of job gives you the opportunity to think before you speak, rather than talking with a customer spontaneously.

Plus, a lot of companies provide a canned text for support representatives for specific situations so you won’t have to stress yourself thinking of the right words to say.

Radio DJ

Having worked at a radio broadcasting company before, I have seen what it’s like to become a disc jockey and I think introverts would fall head over heels for this career. Public speaking may not be every introvert’s cup of tea, but talking out loud in front of a microphone and without a visible audience might just be perfect for you.

Film/Video Editor

If you are a social introvert and you find the idea of working in the company of other people unnerving, you might as well work behind the scenes. A film or video editor works after all the shooting is done, and you get the alone time you need to recharge your battery.

Animal Care

Are you one of those introverts who would rather have pets as companions? If yes, then we have found the ultimate career for you. You can try all sorts of animal care-related jobs, from pet store staff to veterinarian’s office assistant. If you are looking to step up your game, you can also try being the boss or the veterinarian yourself.

Cook/Chef

Back in college, I worked as a service crew at a fast food restaurant and I promised myself that I would never try that job again. For me (and for most introverts), going around serving people while forcing a smile all the time for straight eight hours are a big no-no.

What if you can still work in the food industry but inside the kitchen? Being a kitchen wizard (a.k.a. cook or chef) is a fantastic nine-to-five job where you can show off your cooking skills sans the struggle of dealing with customers. Your business is pure food-related–you don’t get yelled at by customers and you don’t get to face them at all.

Financial Clerk/Bookkeeper/Accountant

For all those introverts who go crazy over numbers, you can try being an accountant if you have a license or a bookkeeper or financial clerk if you haven’t applied for one yet. In these types of job, most of your work involves handling spreadsheets and calculating figures. If you’re the type of person who would rather be occupied with her work than with depressing thoughts, give it a go.

Book Specialist/Librarian

Do you have a knack for reading? Does the mere thought of being surrounded by books excite you? Why not try working as a book specialist or a librarian? This may sound boring for other people, but for bibliophiles, this is already too much heaven. Sure, you will still need to talk with customers, but if the topic is books, I bet you won’t be able to resist.

Web Developer/Programmer

In this techy techy world, one of the most high-paying and on-demand jobs is the web developer/programmer. Professionals in this field only work in small groups or teams, so you can expect to work on your own for the most part.

Creative Freelancer

Oh, hello there, fellow creatives! I was told that if you love doing something, do it after hours. If your nine-to-five job is about researching stuff for your company, you can try to become a freelance photographer, writer, blogger, or what have you. Most of these jobs can be done online, so you won’t have to worry about traveling from one office to another. Don’t let your creative juices go to waste–not everybody is blessed with that gift! *winks*

This was originally published on Introvert Diaries

11 Awkward Moments Every Introvert Can Relate To (Published on Introvert Diaries)

We introverts love solitude beyond words and social interactions wear us out. Here are 11 classic examples of why we prefer to be alone than face the crowd:

1. That awkward moment when…you arrive at a party full of strangers and you instantly regret going.

But you can’t leave because that would be awkward and you don’t want to attract more attention so you just daydream about snuggling up in your own room with a good book in one hand and a glass of wine on the other. After all, we introverts can’t sleep until we finish the next chapter.

2. That awkward moment when…everyone around you is worried if something is wrong.

Truth is, you really were fine until they asked the million-dollar question “Are you okay?”

3. That awkward moment when…someone you hate won’t stop talking to you but you don’t want to be rude.

And you keep looking around, sending telepathic messages to your friends, waiting for someone to save you from your misery but this person keeps on talking and talking so you just sit there and look that person in the eye with your resting bitch face on.

4. That awkward moment when…your friend invites you to a party and pinky promises that you’ll have so much fun.

And you want to ask her what’s her definition of “so much fun” because yours is to stay in bed playing video games or watching your favorite TV series while devouring a box of scrumptious pizza.

5. That awkward moment when…everyone keeps pointing out why you’re being quiet.

It’s lunch time and the entire squad is sharing stories of their adventures last Friday night and you’re sitting there, eating, and they keep asking why you’re being quiet. You’re like, “What? Am I supposed to tell you what happened to the girl I kissed in my dreams last Friday?”

6. That awkward moment when…you and another introvert are stuck in an elevator and you don’t know how to fill the silence.

“Hi.” “Hi.” *forced smiles* *awkward silence* “So, uhm…gotta go.” “Yeah, sure.”

7. That awkward moment when…people try to spark a conversation while you’re reading.

And you want to throw that hardbound book to their direction but you suddenly remember how precious that book is that you’d rather listen to them for hours than hurt your book.

8. That awkward moment when…they ask about your favorite author and you can’t stop talking.

Because after so many conversations that kept you sitting in the corner without a word, you are super excited right now and this left them all rather surprised.

9. That awkward moment when…everyone is having a conversation but you’re lost in your own thoughts and not listening to a single word they say.

Everyone is all smiles and you are there in the corner, not listening to their conversation, wondering how your cousin could have grown so fast because the last time he was there he was like a baby and now he’s all grown up and then your aunt asks you how are you but you didn’t hear her and suddenly all eyes are on you but you have literally no words.

10. That awkward moment when…your crush starts flirting with you but you don’t know how to flirt back.

Your inner Taylor Swift is singing “Sparks Fly” and you want to just grab and kiss him because the moment you have been waiting for has finally arrived but you just sit there and freeze.

11. That awkward moment when…you need to recharge your introvert battery but your relatives are coming over for dinner.

introvert awkward moment

This was originally published on Introvert Diaries

4 Things Single Introverts Can Do on Valentine’s Day (Published on Introvert Diaries)

If there is one thing that all introverts can agree on, it’s that we love to be alone. However, there are days when we feel this acute loneliness and it is especially hard to ignore this feeling during Valentine’s Day.

On this day, couples are everywhere and the mere sight of them doing romantic things together may trigger the FOMO. Here are things you can do to crush the fear of missing out:

1. Date Yourself

Who says only lovers can treat themselves on February 14? You can cook your favorite meal or experiment with a new recipe to spice things up a bit. If you are not a fan of cooking, you can order from a cozy restaurant that you haven’t tried before then have the mouthwatering food delivered right to your doorstep. This way, you can devour a delicious meal on your own sans the struggle of dealing with the crowd.

Sounds good? How about you turn that television on and watch your favorite film or series? It doesn’t have to be romantic if you don’t want it to. Just focus on the scenes and savor each bite of your food to wash out any feeling of loneliness and you have a good chance of actually enjoying the day.

2. Do Your Best Work

If you are going to spend the Valentine’s Day alone, why not make the most out of it? One way to feel good about yourself is to do what you love doing best. Are you the type who loves getting lost in the world of fictional characters? Or are you the introvert who loves making those fictional stories?

Whether you are a bookworm, a writer, an artist, or what have you, do what you love doing best and forget about everything. Keep the idea of Valentine’s Day out of your mind, channel your spirit animals, and focus your energy and attention on your work. Who knows, you can even do your best work on this day.

3. Challenge Yourself

Most introverts are confined within their own comfort zones, always unsure of whether or not to try new things. This Valentine’s Day, it’s time to unleash your inner beast. Try doing something different. Think of an activity that you can do on your own that does not involve too much social interaction.

Finish that book in one reading. Start writing the book of your dreams. Paint that new–generation Van Gogh masterpiece. Organize a DIY travel project, visit the beach, hike the mountain—you name it.

Grab this opportunity to take one item off your bucket list. Does it involve kissing a stranger? Or perhaps you have been thinking about hitting up your long-time crush? Go ahead. You will remember this day not as Valentine’s Day but as the day you overcame your worst fears.

4. Celebrate Self-Love

Contrary to the belief that Valentine’s Day is the day of lovers, it is actually a day to celebrate love in general. We introverts are used to being alone—in fact, solitude is one of our favorite words in the dictionary. But when the thought of being a Singleton strikes you on Valentine’s Day, it’s best to remember that you are a strong, independent human being that can handle things on your own.

We know it sounds cliché, but the first step to learning how to love others is to love yourself. If you’ve been busy at school or work, you can take this moment to contemplate about your accomplishments, your dreams, and even your fears.

Have you been entertaining negative thoughts lately? Create a game plan that will help you become the best you can be. Lastly, always remember that no one can help you but yourself. Celebrate self-love this Valentine’s Day and you’ll thank yourself for it later.

This was originally published on Introvert Diaries